Birthday Blues

17 years ago today, my mother saw me for the first time, screamed, and fainted. subsequently she warned me that i had better be worth the trouble. i wasn't.

today, i'm running a mild but weakening temperature, not helped by the thought of an economics test tomorrow (aaarrgghh) and no party until the weekend.

the good part? tons of messages and birthday wishes from all the right people, starting from midnight yesterday.

am missing one day of school (read piles of mind-numbing notes) and falling back on certain Assignments. bleh.

this stupid fever started on saturday. since then i've been having horrific half-waking dreams where killer scarab beetles eat bugs bunny.

note to self :- WHY ME?

i spent sunday night wrapped in two bedsheets and wearing one grey sock in bed (the other one is now my cousin's sock-puppet, apparently) dreaming about achieving normalcy. sobbed myself to sleep, convinced that i was going to die. woke up and resolved to start believing in divinity from Monday.

today is wednesday. i am still an atheist. so much for deathbed promises. i miss lollipops. and pal

seriously, though, why? did i commit a heinous murder in some previous reincarnation? is that why i must spend my birthday with a sniffle, a headache, stuck at home, alone except for some friendly cake in the fridge?

and i've spent so much time convincing myself i'm not sick, i almost passed out in school yesterday. today, for a change, i passed out at home instead. my mouth tastes of mint toothpaste in particular and sour bitterness towards my life in general.

to anyone who's had the patience to read this far - i haven't always been so crazy, i'm just woozy today, that's all. please leave a comment, just to make me feel better about dying. thank you.

trisha

16 minutes later

my father just called to check up on me, and 5 minutes later jayanti aunty from flat number seven turned up with quiet sympathy and noodles. i sense the beginnings of a warm fuzzy feeling in the general location of my left ribs. i wonder if this is what groveling gratitude is supposed to feel like.


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Turning 17 Tomorrow

YOUR BIRTHDAY: 9 July (CANCER)


Your personal ruling planets are Moon and Mars.

The power of Mars and sensitivity of Moon combine to create a somewhat contradictory nature. On one hand the sensitive, caring and emotional elements will be expressed. At other times however, your strong willed sometimes aggressive nature will create head-on confrontations. In the house you are master. You need to control your immediate surroundings.

In work too, you like to take the lead, but domestically your urge to dominate, especially where children are concerned, will create continual conflict requiring a serious look at issues of power and control on your part.

Your lucky colours are red, maroon and scarlet and autumn tones.

Your lucky gems are red coral and garnet.

Your lucky days of the week are Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 9, 18, 27, 36. 45, 54, 63, 72.

Famous people born on your birthday include Edward Heath, Tom Hanks, Kevin Nash, Courtney Love and Kelly McGillis.