Sunday, May 24, 2009

SOS, Mayday, or HAAAALP!!!

I need to get into college. Kolkata ones are ok because HS results aren't out yet. What about the Delhi ones?? What do I do, where do I go, and how do I proceed? Any help/advice/knowledge/sage wisdom will be greatly appreciated. Please? Pretty please with whipped cream and a strawberry on top?

Friday, May 22, 2009

Made it through!!

I'm ok. In fact, I'm so ok right now, I'm probably the definition of ok. This feels so good that I'm going to say it again. I'm ok.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Holocaust (or Coming of Age) on Friday the 22nd of May '09

These are the terrible dreams that I have had with increasing frequency in the months leading up to the day after tomorrow.

I dreamed I failed in economics (expected that), Bengali (kind of saw that coming too), 13 on 100 in geography(what the fuck????)

In another dream, I was walking to the school bus and suddenly Krishnaroop Chowdhury tackles me to the ground in a sweaty blur from the right and starts punching my jaw. I beat him off and (I think) break both of his kneecaps. Then I go home and find that my teeth are dislodged. Soon my fist is full of bloody tooth that I mourn silently. Not sure what relevance this has to my results.....probably just a metaphor where the CBSE is equated to another threat, KC, and thus both punch my teeth out........naah, it was just a dream where that bleeping bleep of a bleep, bleep him, breaks my bleeping smile up.

I was standing by myself in front of the school gates, and everyone had gone home, and everyone got their results before that, and I didn't, and I didn't know my marks but I really really wanted to............and I stood there and stood there and waited and waited, and then it was midnight and my knees were aching and then Spock beams down and says they'll have to deport me to Uranus because that's the general vicinity of my results too.........(why the Federation gets involved is not something I chose to question at that point, probably because of my throbbing instep).

And finally, the worst pre-result nightmare of all........I only get good enough marks to qualify me for the Bhavan's evening management training classes. For the next five years, I'm doomed to come back everyday to the SAME BLOODY CAMPUS. And that just about sums up school life for me.

I'm doomed. Doomed, I tell you.


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Monday, May 11, 2009

The Storm

As you walk in the rain, with your head bent to the ground,
the cold wind lashes you, you can barely stand steady;
the chill rain is a full frontal attack, your eyes cannot see;
and the thunder sounds like the reflection of an earthquake.
The strikes of lightning make your head jerk up,
and you stop walking, and stand, and breathe underwater;
the familiar street changes around you, as you see the water hit your eyes,
and in a moment of clarity, you see the stars glowing straight through the rain;
your world falls away, and you are alone,
alone on the slope of a mountain beside the sea;
the wind lashes the waves, and the water pounds against the cliffs,
you tremble at how fierce your joy can be;
and your senses scream to you to run with the wind,
to take to the sea and the wind with a running jump off the cliff,
a free fall that will never end, a whirlpool of the elements that embrace you.
If you ever had a soul, the stars call to it now,
and it wakens, and yearns, and strains to the maelstrom sky;
it tries to soar to the vast nothingness beyond the storm,
but you are afraid, and your soul won't fly away without you.
You reach up on your toes, and you stand like a dancer in the rain;
the wind tears your breath away, and your heart is at peace at last.
The rain dies, and the wind slows, and the stars' fury fades,
you are left drained by the spirit of the storm.
You return to the empty street with the single flickering light,
as you start walking again, your hands feel empty;
you look down and there is a heart sized hole in your chest,
and as your joy fades away and then comes back stronger,
you know your heart lies bleeding on a cliff beside the sea,
and when the blood of your heart runs with the rain into the storm,
the storm reaches the stars, and then your blood colours the sky.