There is a lovely place where people live in spacious apartments with white curtains of Egyptian cotton and beautiful paintings and amidst jacaranda trees and the smell of lemon leaves and sunshine and general loveliness. And suddenly there's a TYRANNOSAURUS REX, okay, and it's stomping around the place and roaring and somehow my tattoo makes it think that I'm also a big-ass dinosaur in disguise so now I'm the only one it talks to. Except it's being all territorial so our conversation goes like this.
Me - Go away. You're frightening my cats.
TYRANNOSAURUS REX - FOOOOOOOD.
Me - One fat aunty and that's it.
TYRANNOSAURUS REX - EVERYONE.
Me - Nevah!!
We start fighting. The dinosaur, who I now think of as Jeremy, TRIES TO EAT ME. I run towards a balcony. Everybody screams.
I club Jeremy with a jagged steel rod from the balcony. His puny little knees start to buckle. I go a little berserk trying to stab his eyes out. Everybody has gone. Now the dream becomes terrifying because Jeremy's wounds must be self-healing or something, because he's in full predator form. I'm running frantically around in some kind of institution trying to find a room without windows. There are none. A janitor turns out to be Jeremy's friend. I run around a corner and there Jeremy is, looking smug. He is standing on a bed of roses, most of which he has crushed. I know how much time and effort it takes to rear tea-roses in Cal, and hence I am filled with righteous rage. Instead of trying to attack him I give him the most derisive and scathing speech about how disgusting his scant respect for life and property makes him, his horrible irresponsibility, how obnoxious he is, why his species and indeed genus became extinct, how the world has moved on since then, how he is unnecessary now. Incredibly, this works. Jeremy blubbers, moves off the roses, and tries to subtly repair the damage by using one large claw to pat down the savaged earth and pretend that nothing has happened. I add the final blow by telling him that despite being from the Jurassic era, he is the worst example of post-colonial patriarchal oppression I have ever come across. Jeremy then hunches his shoulders and goes away. I wake up feeling incredibly, overwhelmingly guilty about hurting this rampaging monster's feelings and suddenly I want to apologize and maybe hug him and give him a chicken to eat or something.
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