power drives men crazy. but sometimes the screenwriters behind them take this power-craze to a whole new dimension of ironic cruelty. for example, mr.burns, courtesy the simpsons. following are some classic lines from episodes over the long, money-hungry, power-mad years.....
Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr.Burns: Precisely.
Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
Burns: Look at that pig. Stuffing his face with donuts on my time! That's right, keep eating...Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut! [cackles evilly, then stops abruptly] There is a poison one, isn't there Smithers?
Smithers: Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.
Mr. Burns: I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant.
Mr. Burns: I don't like being outdoors Smithers, for one thing, there's too many fat children.
Mr. Burns: Woah, slow down there maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?
Mr. Burns: What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
Mr. Burns: No one will want to kiss me after this, eh, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, it's their loss, sir.
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, I'd just like to say that...[ahem]...I...love you.
Burns: Hmm? S
mithers: [quickly] In those colors! [aside] Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!
Burns: The watchdog of public safety, is there any lower form of life?
Smithers: Don't worry sir, I rounded up our less gifted employees and led them into the basement.
Mr. Burns: Smithers I'm thinking about donating some money to the orphanage..when pigs fly!(Homer's bbq pig flies past the window)
Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat to win a million-dollar bet? Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?
Mr.Burns: (To Homer)One more thing...You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon!
Smithers: Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr.Burns: And the road maps, and the driving gloves?!
Smithers: Yes, sir.Mr.Burns:Then its all falling into place!
Burns: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!
Mr. Burns: I'm looking for something in an attack dog. One who likes the sweet gamey tang of human flesh. Hmmm, why here's the fellow ... Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me.
Mr. Burns: A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
Mr. Burns: What are you doing man, that's Carl!
enjoy.........
1 comment:
ha! awesome.
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